Leftovers

I like most people enjoy eating Thanksgiving leftovers. A little while ago I was preparing some mashed potatoes and gravy for myself to eat. The gravy was in a hand-thrown ceramic bowl that my younger brother made. I put it in the microwave to heat up because cold gravy is actually just a solid piece of fat, and no one wants to eat that or be reminded that that is what they are actually eating. No I prefer my fat in liquid form. So I put the bowl in the microwave and as the gravy was heating up I heard this weird tiny popping sound coming from the microwave. I thought nothing of it until later I was eating my mashed potatoes and gravy and the tasted a little weird. Almost like it was laced with tiny metal particles. A thought came to me that I probably shouldn't eat that gravy, but then I was really hungry so I kept eating. Later as I was getting full I was also beginning to get worried.

The bowl that my little brother made had an orange ceramic glaze on it, and as everyone knows there are only two naturally occurring substances that have an orange color, iron and uranium. Now if it was an iron glaze I'm probably okay, however it it was uranium i will probably die in the next 2-6 months from cancer in my mouth, esophagus, stomach, intestine, and colon.

After eating my mashed potatoes and gravy I thought that that maybe wasn't the best choice so to be on the safe side I decided to try to minimize any free radicals that might be floating in my body. First, I ate ice cream for its coating abilities, then I moved onto green leafy vegetables because they are the best at neutralizing free radicals, and then I ate some bread, just to be on the safe side, because this is what you are supposed to do if you swallow a safety pin.