Tonight Greg and Mary were over at our house. As they were sitting in the living room my little brother came up the stairs with two jars of sand Mary had left in his room. It was then I decided to tell Greg. I thought it was time he knew that Mary suffers from a rare condition known as silicatosis in which she compulsively collects sand.
The bad news is that it is a terminal illness. There is no cure.
We have explored treatment options for Mary but sadly our insurance company fails to recognize it as a real condition. There are several renowned silicatosis clinics in the country, but there is of course a long waiting list to get into any of them.
Greg asked me how long Mary had left. I told him at best 10-12 months. Her condition will worsen over time and she will collect more and more sand, until she can't help herself anymore. In the last stages of the disease she will fill her pockets with sand and try to cover herself in it, then we'll know the end is near.
The doctors said it would be best to let her be a soil science major and let her live out her remaining days in peace under the delusion that sand really will make her happy.
The doctors also said that under no circumstances should we let Mary near the beach.
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4 comments:
I knew there was some reason I was drawn to the beach... To Overnight bags and bags of sand to Provo.
I'm the best former home teacher ever.
No, don't enable her. You will think you are helping her but you will only be hurting her.
So even if Mary can't go near the beach, Rebbs can. Hmmm. I think a trip to the Lagunas is in order, Pletsch.
That must be why she liked the Grand Canyon so much--it's all sand!!!
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