HT

I can tell that my Home Teachers really care about me because they ask me the same questions every time they come to visit me.

Them:"So how is school going?"
Me:"I'm not in school."

Them:"Oh, what did you graduate in?"
Me:"Painting"

Them:"So are you just working now?"
Me:"Yep"

Them:"What do you do?"

I take a deep breath, and think to myself, "this is going to be a long 25 minutes..."

Havasupai

We decided to plan another trip to Havasupai this year because it's been two years since we last went and the emotional wounds are beginning to heal, or we forgot how much we hate camping with each other for five days...

Anyway, today I called to make a reservation but they are all booked up until July 24th which is monsoon season in Arizona and the last time we went during monsoon season this happened:


this happened:



and this happened:




this is what is supposed to happen:


Swimming in muddy water is not as fun as one might think.

So we have three options...

1. We could befriend someone who already has reservations, break their legs and then take their reservation.
2. Just go camping somewhere else
3. Wait until July/August and go on a weekend when the forecast is clear.
   

Inheritance

So tonight my parents passed around a list to all of us kids with all their physical assets listed on it. It includes things like furniture, antiques, family heirlooms. The idea is that they want us to look at the list and mark what we want when they die or even sooner because they are trying to pare down their stuff.

While we were looking at the list Liz found a number of things on the list that belong to her for instance a badminton set, a bench... that apparently my parents think belong to them. Unfortunately for her she realized this mistake too late... I already marked down that I wanted them... sorry Liz...

Most of the things on the list I don't want such as: my Dad's collection of train movies, a doll house, a lathe... but there are a couple items of actual value on the list that we are all going to be fighting over such as a revolutionary war rifle, my Grandma's wedding ring, and a huge painting of a town in Germany from the 1900's.

I am already working on my bargaining skills/plan of attack for these items. Truthfully there are only a couple things that I want BUT I plan to pretend to want anything that someone else wants and then give it up in exchange for what I want. For example, "Yes, Mary you can have that mink coat, as long as I can have the painting." That way everyone wins, or at least they think they are winning in actuality I am the only one winning.

Mary, Liz, and I all want my Grandmothers wedding ring. I don't know why Mary wants it she already has a husband and a wedding ring, sheesh Mary how selfish can you be.

In addition, I've decided to take some things early, when I eventually do get my own place... "What, Grandma's silver? I haven't seen it. I don't know where that could be..."

Hollister Air Freshner

Yesterday I went to Hollister to see if they had any cute sweatshirts on sale. For those of you unfamiliar with the store, it is characterized by dark lighting and a wave of perfume/cologne when you enter the store which all the clothes there are also drenched in. I am not a huge fan of the store but sometimes they have cute things, and I was actually able to find a sweatshirt I liked so I bought it and brought it home and put it in my room, 24 hours later my entire room smells like Hollister.

Seven Pounds - Movie Review

The other night I watched Seven Pounds because I recently got a netflix account so I've been watching a large number of movies online and I've heard from several people it's a good movie... guess what, they were wrong...

Well, I learned a lot about service and that aspect of the movie I really liked, but the whole relationship storyline where he dies and gives his heart to his girlfriend... please...

I'm so over movies with plots that include a romantic relationship conflict over a heart transplant, first "Remember Me" now "Seven Pounds"

How many times could this have happened in real life?

That's right, never.

March Madness... Madness

When Greg used to have roommates they once setup a video camera to tape him watching March Madness...



It's much better in person trust me... sometimes he stands up to yell at the TV...

Mike

My friend Mike has a large collection of knives... twenty or so...

A little while ago he was going to a party and I told him he should take his collection of knives with him to show off to girls... because they would be impressed and NOT creeped out.

I also told him that whenever he brings a date back to his place he should have his knife collection out to show her, and maybe have some duct tape & fish twine lying around too.

I also gave him the great dating advice to get rid of his couch and just have a love sac in his living room, that way when he brings a girl back to his place there is only one place for her to sit... on the love sac with him... maybe he could even go bachelor style and encircle the love sack with candles and rose petals.

For those single ladies reading this blog Mike IS currently available. Here is a pretty inaccurate picture of him that he has provided.


He likes: guns, knives, hunting moose with his hands, sweat, diesel, explosions, dogs, plaid, chopping firewood, and alligator wrestling.

He dislikes: Feelings.

What he likes most about a woman: Ability to handle a Browning High-Power 9mm and skin wild game.

If you are interested please leave your contact info in the comments section of this post.

Note: he is not at all picky.

Taxes

I have been avoiding doing my taxes this year, because something tells me they are going to be a little complicated.

I have taxes from:

a business(federal & state taxes)
out of state income(I will have to file with both AZ and UT)
and, regular individual taxes(federal and state)

probably 5 forms in total.

Someone was telling me that at BYU the accounting majors have a lab where they will do your taxes for you. I kind of just want to go down there and slap my pile of papers on the desk and be like, "do it... I challenge you" or I could just stay home and try to do it myself while working my way through season 5 of Gilmore Girls. It would probably turn out just as well...

SKI-ING

Yesterday morning (Saturday) I woke up uncharacteristically early... at 7:30 a.m. ... Now there are few things that will get me to wake up early on the weekend but my friend Jen had offered to teach me how to ski, and since she is a ski instructor and she often teaches 6 yr olds I thought she was well qualified to do it.

Collin was also invited but unfortunately he fell ill. I got the I'm too sick to make it/I was up to late last night making out with my girlfriend text at 7:20. Was he really sick? I don't know but I have often used the "it sounded good last night when I agreed to it but now I am really tired and I don't want to do it anymore" text to get out of many early morning things such as: cleaning, excercising, breakfast, and lunch... so I really can't blame him. Also, he was probably afraid that I would show him up with my mad skills, which is probably true.

So after getting ready and loading up my car Jen and I headed out at 8:30 sans Collin. We got up to the resort where Jen works around 9. Jen first took me to the employee building where I did my best to fit in and not look like a newbie... unfortunately, this only lasted for 30 seconds because Jen decided to announce to everyone that it was my first time skiing. This was met with delight on all sides by the other ski instructors, and one of them told me,"Try not to break your leg on the first day, just kidding no one breaks their leg on the first day..." "ha... ha..." I replied... nervous laughter...

I had actually anticipated bodily injury, and brought a mouth guard because Jen told me a story once about how one of the kids she taught knocked out his front teeth with a ski pole. Jen insisted I didn't need a mouth guard. I wasn't so sure... Jen told me that skiing is an attribute that men find attractive, and may help me get a boy someday... I told her no one wants to date a girl with no teeth.

We suited up in the cabin where Jen noticed I was looking unusually bulky... she asked me how many layers I had on... "twenty" I replied... I was wearing two tank tops, two long sleeved shirts, a wool sweater, a sweatshirt, a coat, three pairs of pants, snowpants, and two pairs of socks. She made me shed half of it...

Then we headed out to the bunny hill, where Jen taught me the fundamentals like putting on your ski's, walking sideways up the hill, using the tow rope... but she is an AMAZING teacher so we built on the fundamentals really fast and she had me skiing turns down the bunny hill in no time.

After an hour or so of this she decided I was good enough and we decided to go on the ski lift to the real slopes. I am very afraid of heights so I wasn't looking forward to the ski lift, but we got in line and got on and a 15 yr old boy decided to ride with us... as we began to go higher and I began to freak out Jen asked the boy if we could put the safety guard down and the 15 yr old was like, "What are you afraid you're going to fall twenty feet." for the remainder of the ride I fantasized about ways to kill him and make it look like an accident.

We got to mid mountain and got off and Jen began the trying process of coaching me down the mountain. I did pretty well... there were some falls and the occasional sliding backwards down the mountain out of control... but all in all a good day...

I'm Responsible - You're Not

Ugh, I'm the only one in my house who ever makes juice. These people would probably die of juice deficiency without me.

Painting

I'm always in a better mood after I've painted, though I'm not sure if it is the act of painting itself that makes me happy or sniffing chemicals for 4 hours.

Stomach Ache

Recently I found I had a stomach ache and I couldn't understand why, and then I remembered I had only eaten pistachios the entire day...

Inspirational Thought for the Day

Tomorrow probably won't be any better than today.

Mary & Greg's Children

Yesterday I was talking to Mary and Greg about their future family and the rising costs of feeding a family. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Just don't have children or just don't feed them. Make them grow their own food in a garden. It is the only way they are ever going to learn self-reliance.

Greg: Ha, yeah, though it may get tough once winter comes.

Me: Hey, they pioneers did it... If your kids complain just tell them at least you aren't making them pull a wagon.

Valentine's Day

Ah, how I loathe this holiday...

My Mom made a bunch of heart shaped sugar cookies. I kind of want to go in the kitchen and break them all to pieces...

Winter

I believe I have acclimated to the winter temperatures. I say this because the other day I was going outside, and I was like, "coat or jacket..."It seemed warm outside so I picked jacket. Later I was driving by a bank where I saw it was 33 degrees out there...

Vitamins

I like candy, so I eat children's chewable vitamins... I just have to remind myself not to eat them in handfuls.

Update

What is new in my life lately? Well, I'll tell you:

My AC adapter for my laptop stopped working so I have to buy a new one. I'm chewing gum in order to tone the muscles in my face, and I sprained my foot sitting on Mary and Greg's couch.

It doesn't get much more exciting than this kids...

Breakfast

In my refridgerator we have ham, eggs, cheese, and tortillas; but no salsa. So it seems my dream of a breakfast burrito will remain only that... a dream...

Weapons of Mass Imagination

Today on the news I learned that the "free press" in both Russia and Hugo Chavez's Venezuala is reporting that the earthquake in Haiti was created by a super weapon that the U.S. has developed that can create earthquakes and severe weather... apparently Haiti was just our practice target...

1. I hope this is true. I hope we do have such a weapon.
2. If we do not have this weapon we need to build it, or at the very least incorporate it into a season of 24.

They are also saying that we will be using the earthquake weapon next on Iran, which really isn't a bad plan... I say we also use it on Venezuala and Russia though because apparently the are the only two countries in this world we haven't been able to dupe, and let's face it, they are asking for it.

If such a weapon exists it is not in the U.S. but it is the 17-mile long Hadron Collider located on the Franco-Swiss border, which is capable of colliding particles at light speed, creating mini black holes, and maybe it even creating earthquakes... Who knows... The good news is, if it is in the hands of the Swiss and French, we can lay all world domination fears aside, because the Swiss have always been neutral and the French have really only ever been interested in good cheese.

Indeed, I daresay that if the Hadron Collider has earthquake creating abilities it is purely by accident. If I worked at that facility and every time I turned on the machine an earthquake happened, I would probably do it again and again to see if it was just a fluke or if I was making that happen. Which is probably why I have been banned from working in scientific labs and nuclear test sites in general.

Inspirational Thought for the Day

People are stupid, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Baby Shower

Yesterday I attended my older sister's baby shower where I remembered a very important life lesson: any food tastes better when it is cut into bite sized pieces and placed on the end of a fancy toothpick. Since then I have been eating all my food that way, though I don't know what I am going to do when I run out of fancy toothpicks.

Spray Painting

Today I went outside to do some spray painting or tagging as we call it on the streets. Usually when I spray paint something I put down newspaper to protect the grass, but as I walked into my backyard I saw that Mother Nature had already covered everything in a blanket of snow... convenient... I thought. After I finished my spray painting, I went to go back inside but found that I had inadvertently locked the back door behind me. I looked down at the flip flops I was wearing... inconvenient... I thought.

sidenote: running through snow in flip flops is only fun for the first 3 seconds after that it just hurts.