Salsa

The other night for Kristin's birthday party I made salsa, and everyone kept telling me over and over again how good it was and how amazing I am, and I was like, "Yes, yes, I know I'm fantastic, but enough already... this is getting embarrassing... I don't care how true it is..." It's a curse really my natural talent for making salsa...

Some would say my ability to make salsa is super human. I can neither confirm nor deny this, also I may or may not have been involved in a secret government program to take over Mexico with salsa. Where they injected something into my blood and maybe there was a submersion tank... I can't remember... But later after I escaped I found that my ability to make salsa was endangering the ones I loved and I was forced to flee Mexico and give up a lucrative career as a Muchador boxer, but I learned a valuable lesson about power and responsibility. So in the end I came out even.

Now, here is a recipe for salsa...

5 tomatoes (regular to large size)
1 jalapeno
1/2 of a yellow onion (which is bigger than a baseball but smaller than a softball)
1/2 bunch of cilantro
juice from 1 lemon
juice from 2 limes
a small amount of garlic powder(optional)
some pepper(optional)
some salt to taste(I don't know exactly how much it is... It is like reaching nirvana or finding love you just know when you're there... Okay actually I just get the big thing of Morton salt and sprinkle it over the salsa 8-16 times... maybe the first description was better...)

chop up the tomatoes, jalapeno, onion, & cilantro separately in a food processor and then add them all together in a bowl along with the lime and lemon juices and the salt and pepper.