Lately I have been having trouble sleeping. Two nights ago I couldn't fall asleep until 5:30 and then last night I couldn't fall asleep until 4 a.m. and then woke up at 7 a.m. I can think of only one explanation for this... I am turning into a werewolf. It's the only thing that makes sense. There has been a full moon the last two nights. Everyone knows that werewolves can't sleep when there is a full moon... A second explanation might be that my drapes let in too much light, but I think my first idea is much more plausible.
To try to get myself to sleep I have tried several different things; reading boring books, doing boring work, telling myself boring stories... none of it seems to work. If I can't get some sleep soon I'm going to hit the bottle. I know that alcohol isn't the solution to life's problems but I think it may be a viable solution to this problem. Let me relate a story.
One day I decided to make chicken marsala. The recipe called for about a cup of white cooking wine. "That's Fine" I thought "the alcohol will just cook off." Later when I was eating my chicken marsala and I felt a burning sensation as it went down my throat I thought, "No, the wine didn't cook off." Suddenly I was very sleepy and I had to go lay down for a couple hours. From this experience I learned that wine=sleepy.
There are a couple of problems with this idea though, 1) I don't know how I would explain the bottle of white wine I keep by my bed to my family. 2) I don't know how I would explain it to my Bishop. I could be like, "Yes, I've been drinking but it's a whole lot less habit forming than sleeping pills." or "No, I haven't been drinking. I've just been eating a lot of chicken marsala... everyday."
7 comments:
Not a bad idea.
I always read the old testament if I need to sleep. Works every time...
Duh... Spring is coming up. Spring = allergies. Solution= Benadryl.
If anyone asks about it.
"oooh I think I have allergies. I better take some Benadryl. Darn, dust bunnies/pollen/snow/etc."
I have trouble sleeping as well. One trick that used to work for me was counting backwards from 1000 by 7's. I have used this trick so many time though, I now have the sequence pretty much memorized. Try it...I think it works, and you don't have to tell your bishop about it.
Try Gone with the Wind. Or maybe you need to do more werewolf hunting to tire yourself out (did I spell tire right? I don't know how else I would spell it) then sleep like a baby(werewolf) at night.
I have some ideas.
1. Read Twilight
2. Look at a picture of Collin's face.
3. Have Collin tell you a rafting story.
4. Have Collin describe his face to you.
I say go for it! Just tell everyone that alcoholism counteracts werewolfism.
Wow, these suggestions are all sooo good... I am sleeping much better and they have all worked very well except for looking at a picture of Collin's face... that just gave me screaming nightmares
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